Its amazing how small triumphs in an everyday life thrill one! Especially in the crazy world that calls itself Mumbai. I know Bombay was a sane city where people followed rules and obeyed the law. But in Mumbai nobody gives a rat's arse... in fact you are the rat's arse if you maintain both rules and order!
On the 5th day of the Ganapati visarjan - Sunday at about 11:15 pm I heard this awfully loud music in the distance which I knew would shortly be passing my house. So I did what any law abiding citizen would do... I called the police station. Unfortunately they turned out not to be law abiding citizens and refused to answer the phone. So I called 100... the advertised "saviour" number. The kind voiced woman on the other end of the line told me in a kinder, patronizing tone (in Marathi but translated for reading purpose) "Madam, today the deadline is 12:00 o'clock". So I was duly silenced as I am aware that Supreme Court orders are for 10:30 pm deadline. Anyway, I said ok I will call you after 12:00.
Suffer in silence till then you fools! We are the government who don't get anything right but noisy deadlines!
By then terribly noisy procession no. ! had drifted past and terribly-terribly noisy procession no.2 was on its way. The house shook! Neighbourhood dogs howled! I called 100. Following is the conversation:
Me: So its 10 mins past !2:00 can you please get the local police or anyone else to stop this noise?
Police operator: I will give you the Versova police station number, call and tell them to stop it.
Me: You want me to do your job?
PO: It is closer to your home, no?
Me: (silenced)
PO: Hello... Madam???
Me: Yeah... but Versova police station seems to asleep... no one is answering the phone...
PO: Ok I have taken your complaint... I will send a car.
Phone disconnected. Noise continues. It is now 12:20. I call 100 again
Me: Madam, I had called a few minutes ago ...
PO: Yeah... we have your complain... you want the complaint number?
Me: I want the noise to stop.
PO: Yes but I am giving you the number, no.
Me: And what am I going to do with the complaint number... make bhaji out of it...???
PO: No, you can use it to say we didnt stop the noise.
Me: (silenced)
Me: (recovered) Listen, madam... dont you get it??? You are the police... I am the citizen... it is not my job to apply law and order... it is yours... my job is to follow the law and order... and if I dont you arrest me! That was the original plan!
PO: Why are you telling me my job?
Me: Because you seem to have forgotten it!
PO: Madam, you cannot talk to me like that.
By this time I am wide awake and in full form.
Me: The police force is scared of stopping these visarjan processions as they all are politically related. Shiv Sena Ganapati, MNS Ganapati, BJP Ganapati. Who cares about the public??? You seem to have forgotten it is police for the public not public for the police
PO: Madam, I am giving you the complaint number, no...
Me: Yes... please give it to me so that when I go to the ADDL Comm. office tomorrow in Bandra I can tell him that I was given a complaint number as per your instructions but no action was taken... therefore lets discuss contempt of court.
Complaint number is written... PO disconnects. Definitely wonders what is she doing in the police force having to deal with idiots like. me.
The music stops in the next 30 seconds!!!!
That was the cheapest thrill I have had.
Last night... there was no loud music after 11:30 pm... that is when I giggled to myself.
All we need to do is take tiny steps and believe that we care... awww c'mon... lets make Mumbai Bombay again!
